Monday, September 30, 2013

Too Many Ideas, So Little Time. Or What I Like to Call: Excuses!

It might be argued that with three books having coming out in the last 6 months, it would be okay for me to take a break, and in truth, after DEPTHS OF PERCEPTION came out, my brain was pretty fried. It took me a month for ideas to start percolating and trickling back in. 
But there's just SO MUCH to do! My days seem to be getting shorter and shorter, while the list of ideas for books and short stories just keeps growing! In fact, I've gotten to the point where I don't want anymore good ideas or inspirations, because on any given day, I wake up more behind than the day before. Some days the looming pile of inner words screaming to get out makes me refuse to write more than a few sentences. I'd rather plan or work on music or stare at my calendar. Write? Too much work to wade through all the plot possibilities.
Is that an excuse to not write? Absolutely. 
But more than anything, I have to remember that it's also motivation.
Because in this occupation, writers have to be constantly internally motivated, because we spend so much time facing the ideas and words in our heads, bereft of company that most other occupations supply. Sure, we talk online or with people when working on research, but when it comes to the grind of meeting a word count deadline, we've got no one else to push the words out of our heads.
And I've found that the harder a deadline I have, the more I write. But I don't have any deadlines right now, just a lot of ideas and started stories.
And a day filled with... non-writing.
In the end, it doesn't matter how much time I do or don't have, or if I should or shouldn't take a break.
This is my craft, my choice. I shouldn't use exhaustion or overwhelmed moments to stop me. After all, most people don't just decide not to go to work whenever they feel like it. Why should I accept any less from myself, when the utmost rigor is necessary to hone a story and be true to my characters and plot?
Too many ideas can be daunting, but I should remember to be grateful to have some many new places to explore and share with my readers.
To do any less is simply inexcusable.